like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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