i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
