garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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