youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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