I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
