I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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