I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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