4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm gonna have a badass scar
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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