I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My bed smells like the plague
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
