It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize