I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
