i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
