WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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