oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
