Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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