Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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