do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
