Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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