the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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