discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my being single is dangerous.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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