yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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