someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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