you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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