Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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