So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize