yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize