i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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