google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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