I wanna bring you to show and tell
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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