In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do vagina's smell?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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