I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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