If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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