Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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