The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
