Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She bit a glass in half.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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