Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
