I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
