And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize