is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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