You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
