Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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