i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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