I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
