Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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