either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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