If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
