They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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