Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize