how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
