Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
