i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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