Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
