Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
