u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
