Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
