brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you still have your period?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
