so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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