Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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