She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
