it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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