i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
