You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
They have beer where we have blood.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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