i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
