the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
