That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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