Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize