the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize