she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
