Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
